Officer: *in police station* I need to report a criminal known as Jay Sensei, formerly the leader of Club Penguin, currently flying away in a plane with an unknown pilot.
Other Officer: I'm sorry, but we can't do anything. None of the technology on this island is working.
Officer: I think I may have located some. We need to go to-
The island slants, making the officer subsequently fall off the island.
Officer: Rekab Industries- *drowns*
Warden: I knew we should've given him swimming lessons. *tries to pick up a rescue tube, but falls down immediately and breaks flipper* OW! I'm not weak! How did this happen?
Other Officer: Let me help you with that. *tries to pull it up, but can't* What?
Meanwhile, on the plane...
Jay: WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! THE PLANE IS GOING TO CRASH!
Sasquatch: Jay, it's okay. I'm taking you somewhere.
Jay: Where?
Sasquatch: The human world.
Jay: Oh, not again!
Sasquatch: Don't worry, we won't turn into humans. Those things are ugly. *presses button*
Jay and Sasquatch are suddenly in a cubicle.
Jay: Umm... How'd we get here, and what happened to the plane?
Sasquatch: Oh, I sent it back in time to approximately 1493 in Germany and blew it up.
Jay: O_O Why?
Sasquatch: Because I can.
Jay: What is this place?
Sasquatch: Welcome, Jay, to the Illuminati.
The camera zooms back, revealing they are at the top of the Great Pyramid.
Jay: Why am I here? And don't I get a choice? I'm against the illuminati!
Sasquatch: I'm just kidding! This isn't the illuminati, this is the U.S.A. The Universal Scandalous Agency. We just hide in the top of the Great Pyramid. We rescue criminals to recruit them, and we rescued you. Also, no.
Jay: The USA? I'm still not convinced that you aren't the Illuminati I'm not a criminal! I hate this place...
Sasquatch: Oh, aren't you? *plays the end of science.doc on his computer*
Jay: That's my fault?
Sasquatch: Yes. We need to go see the Leader.
Jay and Sasquatch walk into a room filled with dead cats hanging on the walls.
Jay: This room is disturbing...
Sasquatch: The leader turns our enemies into stuffed animals. Or, at least, I think they're stuffed animals...
Voice: WHAT'S THE PASSWORD?
Jay: Password?
Sasquatch: *in a really annoying voice* HEY, LISTEN!
Jay: Umm...
Voice: PASSWORD ACCEPTED.
The room lights up.
Jay: UMMM...
Suddenly, a censored sign shows up in a throne at the end of the hall.
Sasquatch: Nobody knows what the Leader looks like except for the Leader.
Censored: Yes, that is true. Bring forth the criminal.
Sasquatch: *drags Jay up to the throne*
Jay: I'm not a criminal.
Censored: What crimes has the criminal committed?
Jay: I'M NOT A CRIMINAL!
Suddenly, a bunch of boots fall from the ceiling.
Jay: OWW!
Sasquatch: *plays the end of science.doc for Censored*
Censored: Hmm... That seems like a minor offense to me. Let him go.
Sasquatch: Really?
Censored: Yes.
Sasquatch: *plays all the other times Jay has committed a crime*
Censored: :O HE MADE POPCORN? I hate popcorn! He shall join the U.S.A. immediately.
Jay: Making popcorn gets you into this agency?
Censored: It's not like popcorn didn't get you into your last job.
Flashback
The Penguin Secret Agency floods with popcorn.
Jay: Oh, great, I lost my job!
Pixie: Hey, what if I made an agency?
Jay: I guess I'd join.
End of flashback
Jay: True.
Censored: Now, I have a mission for you.
Jay: What if I don't accept?
Censored: *brings a rebel member of the U.S.A. into the room* This will happen. *turns the member into a cat and throws a knife at him*
Jay: *closes eyes*
Censored: *stops knife in midair* Luckily, this is actually a rock in disguise. *turns it back into a rock* Okay. *plays the scene where Perry the Pizza Guy stole Jay's computer* Get that computer.
Jay: That's it?
Censored: Yes, and don't tell anybody about the Illuminati.
Jay: Fine, but I'm NOT a criminal!
Censored: I don't believe you. You made popcorn!
Jay: Will I need anything?
Censored: Yes, take this knife with you. *hands a knife*
Jay: *is weighed down by the knife* What?
Sasquatch: Jay, your magic and technology isn't the only thing that's stopped working. It's also your strength.
Jay: Really? That adds a whole new element of impossible.
Sasquatch: I'll go with you, my strength is fine because I was in the human world at the time.
Jay: Hey, just wondering, why isn't your voice weird right now?
Sasquatch: The U.S.A. used a machine on me that makes my voice like this. It's horrible!
Jay: Unfortunately, I don't know the first place to find Perry the Pizza Guy.
Censored: We recently recruited a new agent from Afghanistan who can track people easily.
Jay and Sasquatch walk down to Saraapril, who is currently writing a new blog post.
Saraapril: And THEN, HE tried TO kill me!!! I was SENT to be a MEDICAL doctor IN Afghanistan!
Jay: Uggh... Can you track Perry the Pizza Guy?
Saraapril: Sure. *adds a Perry the Pizza Guy Tracker on her website*
The tracker shows that he's on the Ice Berg.
Jay: SHERLOCK‽
Sasquatch presses a button on his cubicle, and they are suddenly at the Ice Berg.
Jay: Stop right there, Perry the Pizza Guy!
Perry the Pizza Guy: Oh no! The guy without strength, power, or technology has come to stop me! What ever shall I do? *knocks Jay back with lightning*
Jay: Gah... You're using all of the power for yourself?
Perry the Pizza Guy: Oh, no, not all of it. Some of it went to my daughter.
Jay: Daughter? Who agreed to marry you?
Perry the Pizza Guy: Heh, I had to come up with a fake alias, but who cares?
Jay: How did you even know your machine would work?
Perry the Pizza Guy: I tried it once on a much weaker computer. I stole the powers from your friend's gems.
Locy: *suddenly falls from the sky with the frying pan weighing her down and hits Perry the Pizza Guy on the head* THAT WAS YOU?
Perry the Pizza Guy: OWW! *falls off the ice berg*
Jay: *tries to grab the computer* Gah! I can't grab it! I'll just have to deactivate it. *tries to type on the computer, but isn't strong enough to push the keys down*
Sasquatch: Let me try. *smashes computer*
Jay: NO! I payed 15,000,000 coins for that!
Suddenly, Perry the Pizza Guy climbs back on top of the Ice Berg
Perry the Pizza Guy: I'm not done yet!
Jay: Oh, well, now that I have my powers back- *grabs staff and falls* WOAH!
Perry the Pizza Guy: Destroying that computer just made it unable to deactivate! Now I hold all of Club Penguin's powers. *holds up hands* And I'm about to bring something back to life.
Suddenly, millions of pieces of technology fly towards Perry the Pizza Guy and encase him in a robotic suit.
Perry the Pizza Guy: Welcome to Round 2.
Jay: Oh, come on, this isn't fair.
Perry the Pizza Guy: This is the Ultimate Electrobot 100,000.
Jay: You just stole the name from the Protobot :|
Perry the Pizza Guy: Yes, and I don't care! It's time, Jay.
Jay: For what?
Perry the Pizza Guy: Welcome to the apocalypse.
Jay: I believe there's one thing you forgot to do.
Perry the Pizza Guy: And what is that?
Alpha Puffle suddenly appears.
Jay: You forgot that we have pets.
42: Squeak!
Jay: Oh, that's right, I can't talk to puffles anymore.
Wingman: Hey, you can talk to me!
Perry the Pizza Guy: What? *picks Wingman out from robotic suit and tosses him on the ground*
Wingman: I'll translate for you.
Perry the Pizza Guy: *throws Wingman back into penguins.doc*
Jay: Aggh! Now what will I do?
Sasquatch: *whispers to Jay* I speak fluently in puffle. That's why I always have trouble speaking Penglish.
Jay: Okay, then.
Sasquatch: *pulls machine out of mouth and throws it on the ground* UHTAUCK HM
42 makes a Mech out of his floating hearts and gets inside.
42: Why don't you just go *squeak* yourself?
42 shoots a bunch of hearts at the Ultimate Electrobot 100,000
Perry the Pizza Guy: AHH! THE LOVE! IT HURTS!
Jay: Yeah, kill him with kindness.
Sasquatch: YU 2, URANJ PUFL
Socks repurposes the Aqua Grabber into an Anvil Launcher.
Socks: It's dangerous to go alone, TAKE THIS! *grabs the anvils from Club Penguin Island and launches them at Perry the Pizza Guy*
Jay: I feel like he just referenced a Legend of Zelda game.
Perry the Pizza Guy: *shoots lasers at everyone*
Jay: It's not working!
Sasquatch: GO UTTAK, MAGUNTAH PUFL!
Margaret: Squeak!
Sasquatch: *puts machine in mouth* She says her only ability is to be magenta.
Jay: That's... That's disappointing.
Perry the Pizza Guy: Did you really think you were going to defeat me an episode early? *crushes an anvil in the robot's hand and blocks the hearts with a shield*
Jay: Well... I was kind of hoping-
Suddenly, Apprentice comes up in front of Perry the Pizza Guy and sneezes, causing the robot to freeze.
Perry the Pizza Guy: Oh, this is great... *makes microwave 1,000 times hotter*
The ice around the robot melts.
Perry the Pizza Guy: I'M UNSTOPPABLE!
Jay: Margaret, is there anything you can do- *turns around and sees that Margaret isn't there* Thaaaat's great. *gets a text* My phone is working now? *looks at phone*
The text reads "LOOK OVER THERE."
Jay: What? Where?
Margaret is inside the robot, beating up Perry the Pizza Guy.
Jay: How'd you get up there?
Perry the Pizza Guy: Ow!
Sasquatch: I don't know...
Perry the Pizza Guy: Well... *teleports Jay's staff up to him* Try this. *switches bodies with Jay*
Margaret keeps hitting Jay.
Jay (in Perry the Pizza Guy's body): MARGARET! Please, it's me, Jay!
Margaret keeps attacking.
Jay: Please! Listen to me!
Margaret is still attacking.
Jay: *cries* Well then, I don't see any way to reverse these effects. *sits in chair and waits*
Margaret: *is about to hit Jay again, then stops* ...Give me proof.
Jay: I can't. Perry has your adoption certificate now.
The robot suddenly gets hit by more hearts and anvils.
Jay: Look at this. It's the apocalypse, and it's all my fault.
Sasquatch: *climbs up to the top and punches window* I'LL KILL YOU!
Jay: Sasquatch, I'm Jay! He switched bodies with me!
Sasquatch: How should I know that's true?
Jay: Get Snobot. I programmed him to recognize me under all circumstances.
Margaret: He has to be deactivated by now.
Jay: Oh, right...
The robot collapses.
Perry the Pizza Guy: HA! I win! I shall now take over Club Penguin! *tries to grab Jay's staff, but it weighs him down* Oh, this plan wasn't thought out very well. At least he's dead.
The staff suddenly flies towards the ruins of the robot.
Jay: Think again. *grabs staff and points it at the sky, sending lightning at it*
A triangle-shaped hole opens in the sky, and all of the PSA agents fall out of it.
Jay: I remembered that in this body, I have your powers. And you have every power on the island.
Perry the Pizza Guy: HA! They're weak! It's not like they can defeat me!
Jay: Oh, really? Well, I suppose that's true. Unless you look a little closer.
The PSA agents turn into various members of the U.S.A.
Censored: ATTACK!
Jay: *creates a rainbow* There. I just gave away everyone's powers, and now there's a rainbow of them all. Except, first... *switches bodies with Perry the Pizza Guy and gives away that power at the same time* He's all yours, U.S.A. members.
Perry the Pizza Guy: NO... NO!
Censored: Stand back, everyone. *turns Perry the Pizza Guy into a stuffed cat*
Censored: *grabs a knife*
Jay: *pulls Perry the Pizza Cat away* I just want to tell you something first... He's the actual criminal.
Censored: Oh, really? I guess we'll recruit him, then. Of course, I can't really change him back from a stuffed cat, so he'll have to stay like that forever. At least he can live. *grants Perry the Pizza Cat life*
Perry the Pizza Cat: MEOW!!!
Jay: Oh, and I'll be quitting the U.S.A. I'm not a criminal.
Censored: Okay!
The U.S.A. suddenly flies back into the portal, which closes.
Jay: Wait, that was a triangle portal... ILLUMINATI!!!
Sasquatch: Hey, Jay... Just wanted to say that I'm sorry for not believing you.
Jay: Oh, it's fine.
Suddenly, a toaster hops over.
Jay: Uggh, again with the toasters!
The toaster folds out into Snobot.
Snobot: Hello, sir!
Jay: Can you help me get everyone's powers back?
Snobot: Yes, but it will take a while. About a month or so, to be accurate.
Jay: Okay...
Snobot: I can restore strength immediately, however.
Jay: Do that.
Everyone's strength is restored, and the puffles hop over to Jay.
Jay: Hey, guys... I'm sorry.
Margaret: *squeaks*
Jay: Oh, right.
Snobot: I can, however, restore one power of choice immediately for you, Jay.
Jay: *smiles* You know what to do.
Sasquatch: *tosses machine in his mouth into the water* Uh duhnt thunk ull nud thut uhnnymur.
Officer: *arrests Sasquatch* Ahem.
Snobot: Restoring power 1/2,000...
Jay: I'm sorry, guys.
42: It's okay, Jay.
Margaret: I'm sorry, too, for not believing you.
The sky turns blue again.
Jay: Isn't that nice?
The popcorn is eaten by all the Penguins, the Migrator flies away, the fires stop, and the buildings are being repaired.
Jay: And I see you've restored all the technology, too.
Snobot: Yes, and perhaps enhanced it!
Jay: Great! Well, I'm glad. Let's go get some snow cones.
Socks: Umm, I heard he takes the snow from the ground.
Jay: Umm... Never mind! Pizza, anybody?
Apprentice: I guess so! I've been craving it ever since I froze that giant one...
Jay: Okay.
A gloomy figure stands over them.
Figure: I'll see you tomorrow, Jay Sensei. I'll put an end to this... All of this...
Meanwhile, in Jay's igloo...
Hologram: Systems back online. 100%. Activating...
To be continued...
*sighs* Please try to reach the comment requirement for this episode. You haven't done it for many of the past episodes. I know there aren't a lot of jokes in this one, but as I said at the end of the last episode, you may comment your favorite part as well, even if it doesn't include a joke. I'll see you in the next episode.