Hey, guys, the Q&Jay series finale, "Because," has been cancelled because I've had extreme writer's block lately, and, as some of you know, I've just been really lacking motivation. The series will not continue from here on out.
Hologram JPG: *runs through the door* BUT YOU NEED TO FIND ME!!! *tries to tackle Jay but goes through*
Jay: Fine...
WARNING: This first section was written a few months ago, and is probably terrible. Read at your own risk.
Hologram JPG: It's been like a month or something, how have you not noticed me gone?
Jay: Meh, kind of boring, plus I thought you weren't working like everything else on this island.
Hologram JPG: Anyways, I'm being trapped by an evil-
Suddenly, Catherine jumps in the way of the hologram.
Hologram Catherine: Surprise, surprise.
Jay: Catherine? You're evil?
Hologram Catherine: Oh, I'm not even real. Right now, I'm trapped in an alternate dimension being controlled by someone else. Well, not an alternate dimension, just... Somewhere out of this dimension.
Jay: Who's controlling you?
Hologram Catherine: Well, you see, I'm sort of... Dead right now.
Jay: Answer my question.
Hologram Catherine: I've been gone for a while, and it's about time I got revenge.
Jay: On me? What did I ever do to your past body?
Hologram Catherine: Everything, Jay. *suddenly turns into a ghost*
Jay: ...yeah, I still don't get it.
Hologram Ghost: YOU CHANGED TIME ITSELF BY STOPPING ME. I'VE FOUND AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE, AND I NEED TO MERGE IT WITH THIS ONE.
Jay: Good luck with that, Ghost Who Shall Not Be Named.
Snobot: Jay, I've sort of fixed your staff.
Jay: Sort of?
Snobot: It needs a source of power to work. It still won't be very powerful. Plus, there aren't many sources of power, and its powers are limited to basically anything to do with the source of power.
Jay: Good enough for me. I'll be back. *holds staff to hologram*
Hologram Ghost: What are you doing?
Jay: Oh, you know, just- *teleports to Ghost's lair* ...yeah, that about explains it.
Ghost: You've made a terrible mistake.
Jay: Yeah. Of course I have. *holds staff up to Ghost*
The ghost gets trapped in the staff.
JPG: Uh, thanks.
Jay: Don't mention it.
Ghost: I'LL GET OUT OF HERE EVENTUALLY!
Jay: So, is the hologram back still working?
JPG: Yeah, a little bit.
Jay: *holds staff up to hologram*
The ghost suddenly escapes the staff.
Ghost: Ah, one power at a time, then. *charges at Jay*
Jay: You can't possess me. I still have a mortal soul.
Ghost: *possesses Jay and knocks him out of his own body*
Jay's Ghost: Oh, you think this is funny, don't you? You don't know the first thing about controlling me.
Jay's Body: I know everything about it. I've been studying your strengths and weaknesses for the past five months in order to be able to understand and possess you again.
Jay's Ghost: What do you mean again- Oh, you're Kevin.
Kevin: Yes, that's right.
Jay: Well, you have two options. Give up your body now and all of us can escape this place, or you can stupidly run off this cliff and prevent either of us from living ever again.
Kevin: Or there's a third option... I can climb.
Jay: ...
Kevin: *starts climbing up mountain*
Jay: What are you going to do at the top?
Kevin: Oh, you'll see...
Jay flies up to the top of the mountain and waits for Kevin.
Kevin: *slams staff against mountain* YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS!
The mountain suddenly starts erupting.
Suddenly, Kevin's body appears on the top of the volcano.
Kevin: Finally... This is what I've waited for. *depossesses Jay's body and goes into Kevin's body* And now to dispose of this one. *pushes Jay's body into the volcano, but steals his scarf and staff*
The lava and rock empties back down into the volcano.
Jay: You can't just pull ashes which are basically nothing by now out of a volcano and reform them into your body!
Kevin: Well, there's a time factor in it. I'm still sort of out of this dimension. I'm basically controlling it by now.
Jay: You can't just mess with everything.
Kevin: Well, there's someone else helping me. And stopping me from doing something I'll regret.
JPG gets to the top of the volcano.
JPG: *pants* WAIT FOR ME NEXT *pants* TIME...
Kevin: I won't need you anymore.
Jay: RUN!
JPG: *jumps off the mountain* LEAP OF FAITH
Jay: ...idiot.
Kevin: If it were my decision, he would be dead by now, but for some reason, he's... Not. Entered another dimension, apparently. Only logical explanation.
Jay: Why can't you just get rid of me now?
Kevin: I told you that someone's stopping me. Someone I don't want to mess with.
Jay: Who?
Kevin disappears.
Suddenly, Catherine appears at the top of the mountain.
Catherine: What? Jay?
Jay: Yeah. I'm sort of dead. I thought you were captured by Perry the Pizza Guy, not Kevin.
Catherine: I was, but then you stopped him, and the only one left with power in this universe decided to take control of someone you knew in order to get you here.
Jay: Uh-
Catherine: I WAS TRAPPED HERE FOR A MONTH BEFORE THAT HAPPENED.
Jay: ...sorry?
Catherine: Sorry doesn't even begin your apology.
Jay: Does it at least end it?
Catherine: Shut up.
Jay: Fine...
Catherine: Plus, I've been in these situations solely because of YOU. I would like an explanation. NOW.
Jay: I'm dead.
Catherine: ...good enough for me.
Jay: Can you please get my body back for me?
Catherine: Where is it?
Jay: At the bottom of this volcano.
Catherine: *leaves*
Jay: *sighs* Why does this always happen?
Snobot flies up to the volcano.
Snobot: Sir, I think I found a way to get your body back.
Jay: Could you please do that?
Snobot: I'll have to go into the volcano. You built me with a substance that's entirely resistant to lava. I'll encase your body with my exterior, then fly back up here.
Jay: You'll die... Even if the lava doesn't destroy you, it'll still get into your circuits... I could die, with all the circuits in your body.
Snobot: I can remove most of them. I only need the ones in my hands, my eyes, and my feet, and I can dispose of those when I find you.
Jay: BUT YOU'LL DIE.
Snobot: Of course I will.
Jay: You'd sacrifice yourself just to save me?
Snobot: I'm a robot, I have no emotion.
Jay: ...well, I still care about you. You're probably the one main character in this series that's actually nice to me.
Snobot: That's because you programmed me to be that way. You have to accept that I'm not genuinely capable of anything.
Jay: I programmed you to listen to me.
Snobot: You programmed me with an artificial intelligence. *removes circuits and jumps into volcano*
Jay: SNOBOT!
Snobot flies back up a bit later and falls apart on the ground, revealing Jay's body and a stone.
Jay: *takes control of body* What's this? *holds up stone* It looks like one of Lucy's gems.
The gem is marked "TIME #8.
Jay: Might as well take it. *puts gem in pocket* How is my body not even scorched?
Snobot's Head: Miscalculation... It's an ice volcano made to look like a volcano filled with lava... *powers down*
Jay: I'll be able to rebuild you once this power thing starts working again. Hopefully.
Terrible part ends here... Oh, who am I kidding, it's probably all terrible.
Meanwhile, out of the dimension...
Dark Figure: Kevin.
Kevin: Yes, sir?
Dark Figure: We need to get more people to join us.
Kevin: Well, I think the best way to do that is to get the L.O.V.E. It's an agency consisting entirely of the PSA's enemies.
Dark Figure: What's their motif? To defeat the PSA? So they can do what?
Kevin: Uh... Uh...
Dark Figure: Have they fought the PSA before?
Kevin: Yes.
Dark Figure: Then they haven't killed them all yet. They're weak. Is there anyone strong here besides us?
Kevin: Not really.
Dark Figure: Then there's nothing to do here, no way to defeat Jay.
Kevin: Both of us are more powerful than him alone. He's just an idiot who thinks he has the ability to function as a deus ex machina. He's seriously nothing.
Dark Figure: True, true. His ideas are terrible and everything. I don't get him, really. Nobody does. Nobody even likes him, but they're not strong enough to tell him that.
Kevin: You know, there is one agency that has the strength to defeat him. I don't think they've lost yet.
Dark Figure: Which agency?
Kevin: Take a wild guess.
Dark Figure: Oh. The people that pretend to be his friends.
Kevin: Yep. We can definitely convince them.
Back in Jay's igloo...
Jay: Hmm... Gah. I just don't know how to do this. There's seriously no way to finish this plan.
Socks: Well, maybe... This looks like a similar design to my dimension portal.
Jay: Uh, you never actually built that... You don't even have hands to draw a design for that.
Socks: Try to be more optimistic, Jay.
Jay: Agh... It's physically impossible to design a portal that can transport you out of the dimension.
Sasquatch: *runs in* The sasquatch can do it.
Jay: GAH! Stop being in every episode.
Sasquatch: Too bad! The sasquatch still has his genius intellect. His cave blocked the device that disabled everyone's powers.
Jay: ...genius intellect? Really?
Sasquatch: Of course! You didn't know? Anyways, the sasquatch will do this.
The sasquatch builds a device.
Sasquatch: It might be a little shaky. It's not final.
Jay: ...not final? What does that mean?
Sasquatch: Well, it transports you out of this dimension.
Jay: Good enough for me... *jumps in*
Sasquatch: ...and into another dimension. Oh. The sasquatch will go in to find him.
Sasquatch, Socks, 42, Margaret, and Apprentice jump in the portal, following Jay.
Jay: What dimension is this?
Sasquatch: The chocolate dimension.
Jay: ChoCoLaTE?
Margaret: Oh no.
Jay runs around, attempting to eat everything.
Sasquatch: Er... Let's try somewhere else.
Sasquatch summons another portal.
42: How do we get Jay in there?
Socks: *bites a piece of chocolate off the ground and throws it into the portal*
Jay runs into the portal with everyone else.
Happy Herbert: BABY BABY BABY OH
Jay: Not this dimension...
Sasquatch: Wait. I have an idea.
42: What is it?
Sasquatch: BABY BABY BABY OH LIKE BABY BABY BABY OH
Margaret: Make iT STOP!!!
Socks: ...goodbye. *tries to leave, but the portal closes*
Jay: *covers ears*
Apprentice: No. *freezes self*
The Happy Herberts gather around Sasquatch.
Happy Herbert: Who are you?
Sasquatch: I am the Sasquatch.
Happy Herbert: What a majestic voice you have.
Sasquatch: The better to eat you with, my dear- err, wrong line.
Happy Herbert: We shall crown you as our leader.
Jay: What? Him? Really?
Sasquatch: Let us sing together, army!
The Dark Figure and Kevin appear.
Dark Figure: SILENCE!
Kevin: Please?
Sasquatch: Ha! We have an army, what do you have?
The PSA agents all appear as well.
Dark Figure: An army.
Jay: What are you guys doing?
Pixie: Well, uh, Jay, to be honest... We all secretly hate you.
Lucy: Yeah, it's true.
Jay: You can't be serious right now.
Helmet: We can!
Jay: Of course I believe you...
Charlie: We always have, since the beginning.
Gary: Yep.
Dot: That's why we got divorced.
Alice: YOU TOOK MY PLOTLINE NOWHERE!
Jay: Well. *sits down* This is awkward.
Sasquatch: Army, charge!
Dark Figure: ARMY, CHARGE... BETTER THAN THEM!
The Happy Herberts begin to sing loudly, and the PSA agents attack them as Jay sits on the ground below them.
Jay: Kevin, I've always wondered, why did you send me to another dimension?
Kevin: You were always from this dimension. You do realize you've seen your mother pregnant with you before, correct? Are you an idiot or something?
Jay: What- then- my memory? I remembered being in that dimension.
Kevin: Well, let's just say you didn't get the time machine from just anywhere.
Jay: What?
Kevin: *holds up the time watch* Now, Jay, I'm about to do something really terrible. I could die doing this. *breaks the time watch*
Dark Figure: What did you just do?
Kevin: Time is reversing itself.
Dark Figure: What- are you kidding me? This can't happen!
Jay: You... You're not evil?
Kevin: Jay... I set this up. All of this. For this moment. In the case that you can remember anything, Jay... I'm an old friend, from an old life.
Jay: Thank you. For everything.
The Dark Figure walks up to Jay.
Dark Figure: All your friends hate you, and this is what you do?
Jay: These aren't my friends.
Dark Figure: That's the point, isn't it?
Jay: You're controlling them. They can't stand Happy Herbert.
Dark Figure: Oh. That's a flaw on my part.
Jay: Just one question... Who are you?
Dark Figure: I'll explain later, but I'll never be here in the first place if you can't figure out a way to fix time. Quickly.
Jay: I don't know how.
Dark Figure: What's that in your pocket?
Jay: It's just something I found earlier.
Dark Figure: Maybe you can use it somehow?
Time collapses on itself. A new timeline is born.
Jay: So, what's our mission?
Pixie: There's been a robbery at the Pizza Parlor.
Charlie: Suspects include the RPF, Tusk, Herbert, etc.
Jay: Why does this seem incredibly familiar?
Rookie: Who knows?
Jay: Well, let's go.
Dot: *rushes in* Sorry I'm late!
Jay: Oh, hey.
Dot: Why'd you leave without me?
Jay: I... It slipped my mind, I guess. Something made me forget I had a wife. I don't know. That's really not like me. Don't worry, it'll never happen again.
Dot: Okay.
Rookie: Let's go eat pizza and do something!
Everyone: Yay!
The... End?
Hey, guys, so I finally finished this one. It's been forever, but still. The next episode will come regardless of the comments, but I would still like three comments to help. Reminder, it doesn't need to be the funniest part; I don't really know if there are any funny parts because I'm just writing the last, like, five lines of the episode right now, so... I don't know. Just comment.