The scene opens on a badly made cardboard stage. The curtains, (which are made out of old lab coats) open, revealing a sock puppet of Gary
Gary: Hello and welcome to a very special production of Gary Potter Puppet Pals!
Pixie (from somewhere behind the stage): But Gar, your last name isn't Potter.... also that series already exists....
A puppet of Pixie appears
Gary (imitating Pixie's voice): But Gareh, ur name isn't Potteh!
Pixie: I DO NO sound like that!
Both of the puppets disappear and the sounds of fighting can be heard from behind the stage
The Gary puppet reappears, looking slightly scruffier
Gary: Terribly sorry about that, we now return to Gary's Sock Friends.
The audience, (which consists of 3 pookies, a penguin wearing a toilet plunger on their head and a woman who looks suspiciously like Lee Pace in a wig) laughs
Gary: I haven't even said anything amusing yet...
Plunger head: HAHAHA ITS FUNNY BECAUSE YOUR ONLY FRIENDS ARE THISE SOCKS YOU LOVE SO MUCH!
Gary: YOU TAKE THAT BACK! *a gourd that is painted to look like ADL is thrown at the penguin
Gary: Now shut your coffee hole and pay attention! Now where was I? oh right...
An eagle puppet wearing sunglasses appears on stage
Gary (in a poor imitation of Eagles' voice): Omigosh Gary come quick, there's a dragon at the docks!
Gary: Holy fishsticks Eagles! This sounds like a job for.... GARY!
The puppets cross the stage to a photo of a dock
A puppet of Scorn is ramming his head into a boat contaning puppets of Pixie and Raven
Gary: It's far worse than i thought! It's a good thing I've suddenly developed magical powers! ABRACAFREAKINGDABRA
The puppet throws glitter at Scorn, who drops behind the stage with a shreik
Pixie and Raven both embrace Gary
Gary (imitating Pixie) Oh Gary Bear, you saved us, how can we ever repay you?
Gary: I need no payment fair lady, your gratitude is enough for this humble hero!
The audience boos
Pookie: Y u no let the gwirls swave twemselves?
Plunger head: IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT ARE RUINING OUR SOCIETY!
Lee Pace: Even that Twilight movie I was in is better than this...
Pixie: Did I just hear Lee's voice?
Lee Pace: I'M NOT LEE PACE! I'm uhh... Leeann Pacely...
Pixie: oh...
Gary: You hated my show? FINE THEN! I'LL GIVE YOU A SHOW YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY HATE! COME BACK TOMORROW AT NOON, AND BE SURE TO TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
Later, Gary sits in his great uncle's massive library, reading a book on how to create living puppets
Gary: I'll teach them to laugh at my puppet shows! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *Gary breaks into a fit of coughing* Ahem, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *he starts coughing again* I really need to stop laughing like that.....
(Long starter is almost as long as the second Kingkiller Chronicles book.... but whatever)